Ask Dr. Hindenberg                  scroll to the right---->  
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Student: I'm having trouble calculating the standard error of measurement on my calculator.

Dr. Hindenberg: An exquisite calculator you have there, a triumph of industrial and technological wizardry beautifully held in a burnished Cordovan leather cover. Oh! oh! its battery just died! Oh the humanity! The LED panel has spiral down into the yawning blank abyss of death! Fading, fading, please get out of the way. The memory has been purged in a writhing, tortuous ululation like ten-thousand banshee's crying in terror. Oh, it's a horrific sight.

Student: Can you show me how to access the StatxView software on my computer?

Dr. Hindenberg: You gently let your fingers waft towards the keyboard. So gently, gently, so marvelously slowly. Oh! oh! Your hand hit the mouse! Oh the carpal tunnel syndrome. The wrenching shooting pain, the mangled phalanges and twisted wrist! Oh the humanity! The bruised discolored epidermis, the heartbreak of black and blue flesh.

Student: Professor, could you please explain the Central Limit Theorem to me?

Dr. Hindenberg: Well yes it's a thrilling marvelous theorem. The CLT is like a sparkling jewel on a background of black velvet. But oh! oh! oh! it's just burst into flames, get out of the way, this is terrible. Oh the humanity! The twisted theorem is burning in a pyre of iridescence and all the little statistics with it are bursting into flames. Oh, the numeracy!

Student: Would you be so kind as to tell us when will the second exam be?

Dr. Hindenberg: The second exam will sail in on the soothing zephyrs of a fortnight from now. It will be a striking blue-bound booklet lovingly constructed of the finest Strathmore paper. Oh! OH! I have a vision of it being cruelly ripped to bits by a paper shredder. Its cold steel teeth heartlessly rendering asunder the helpless paper sheaves! This is the worst! Oh the humanity!